Learn Chinese in three minutes

English: He's cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?
English: It's very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu

English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?

note: i doubt that all of these are legit. like hu flung dung and yu stin ki pu
but since i didnt make this up, i must cite it: it came from imnotgoingtositeyoursite.com
and here are some more jokes:
actually no i lied, heres the full version of "how you know your asian"
well, the first part anyway :D

• You live in Asia.
• You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
• You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea.
• People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
• People think you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
• At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
• Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
• Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.
• 
  
• Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
• Your relatives' houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
• You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
• You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
• Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
• You've visited this site.
• Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
• Your dad is some kind of engineer.
• You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
• you're still wondering what was on that blank bullet that i deleted
  
• you noticed my bad grammar in the last 2 sentences

so that pretty much tops of my blog...part two of how you know your asian coming soon!!!
-WEEDS