Sunday, October 26, 2008

funny video

i wonder if he actually expected her to go to mcdounahlds with him?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk0n9tf3ioc&feature=related

i love the part at the end :D
BABY!!!!
COMPLETLY RANDOM!
...i wonder if he actually expected her to go to mcdounahlds with him?

and another video with a man singing in some asian language (chinese or japanese i have no idea...)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=--kaN83YtzM&NR=1

enjoy!
weed(s)

Samuel Albert sayings.

The admin is going to post wise chinese sayings about how Samuel Albert is like a fortune cookie.
Don't worry, the list will be coming sometime in the next 600 years. (you know how azns are always late!)

Friday, October 24, 2008

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

Due to complaints from a total of 1 person(s), the admin has put forth yet another policy.
From now on there will be no more Daniel Ong jokes.

Because of this the admin has found a suitable replacement: Asian Redneck Jokes! (if you aren't asian redneck, then....oh well)

Q: What is an Asian Redneck?
A: Think of a mango flavored jellybean. An Asian Redneck is red on the outside, they're yellow on the inside, and they're slightly thick.

Just kidding. Of course we will continue to make Daniel Ong jokes. Isn't that right, Daniel?

Monday, October 20, 2008

This post is to let you know where all of this asian is coming from.

Here.

No, seriously.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Learn Chinese in three minutes

English: He's cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?

English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?
English: It's very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu


English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?

note: i doubt that all of these are legit. like hu flung dung and yu stin ki pu
but since i didnt make this up, i must cite it: it came from imnotgoingtositeyoursite.com
and here are some more jokes:
actually no i lied, heres the full version of "how you know your asian"
well, the first part anyway :D
  • You live in Asia.
  • You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
  • You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea.
  • People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
  • People think you're Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
  • At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
  • Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
  • Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.

  • Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
  • Your relatives' houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
  • You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
  • You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
  • Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
  • You've visited this site.
  • Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
  • Your dad is some kind of engineer.
  • You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
  • you're still wondering what was on that blank bullet that i deleted
  • you noticed my bad grammar in the last 2 sentences
so that pretty much tops of my blog...part two of how you know your asian coming soon!!!
-WEEDS

This is an Asian wedding cake.


Tuesday, October 7, 2008

communist picture - taken in russia


country: russia
source location: wikipedia.org

It's the tallest asian, even taller than Yao Ming!
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What's wrong in this picture?

Monday, October 6, 2008

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT**

Due to numerous complaints from blog readers, including our newly elected Dictator Daniel Ong, admin Joe "The Fluffy Bunny" Smith has decided on a new policy: from now on, the admin will post no more than two-Actually, 1 post(s) a day. Any change in policy automatically gives you the right to leave the blog.
Let us now have a round of [gunfire] for our new [policy]!

::Crickets::

Dictator Dan: "I told you, we need guns! And lots of them!"

Sunday, October 5, 2008

He's In!

Well it looks like the voters have spoke! Let's take a look:

"Should Daniel Ong be granted author privileges?
Yes - 1
No -3
I hate daniel....and I hate asians!!! - 3"

Wow! With a startling 1 vote, Daniel, the Supreme Elected Dictator, has been accepted!

This addition to the administration is calling for reform/Sickness!(c)
Here are some of the upcoming changes:
- A hotter pink layout Will do.
- Less comments What comments?
- More beer jokes Asians do not drink beer. They drink Vodka.
- Less funny humor Do you not like to laugh or something?
- More reader interaction This is read-only blog...what do you mean?
- More dog BBQs Agreed!
- Extra dashes... Sure, why not?
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- More jokes about the admins (Am I pushing it?) No answer
- No retardedmango Agreed, except for that one vid.
- No more mass production of elbow grease Do you seriously think that I put effort into the blog?
- No more Japanese Agreed. Japan is now part of Africa.
No more dashes Sure, why not?
No more dictator jokes Ok. Daniel Ong is no longer a dictator, then...
No more five year old fashion. We need to push it back a few more years Agreed
More chow mein Chow mein comes from Africa, you american!
Worse spelling Egread
More white guy influence Of course not, Asians are going to take over the world!!!
...
Less white guy influence What I said.
More monk stuff No, monks are from Europe....
Ok, I like the dashes Sure, why not?
- Dashes are back Sure, why not?
- More Asians wasting their time Agreed
- More you wasting your time reading wasted azn time Agreed
- More ideas, please... All ideas on this blog are completely inoriginal.
- Oh, no more American posters That poster came from Russia, for your info...
- No more making fun of Asians No answer
- Just kidding Agreed
- More hacking No, Daniel Ong can do that for us.
- More cookies Agreed
- More Kung Pow Chicken
- Extensive driving lessons for all the admins Why not?
- Thats enough for now
- And remember: This is all in good humor! Agreed...

Lets hear a big round of [gunfire] for our [new] dictator!

::Crickets::

Um... Go buy some guns.

****IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT****

Due to the overwhelming victory in the poll to the right, Daniel Ong now possesses Author privileges!
Not only that, but for a limited time Daniel Ong will be selling copies of his award-winning "The Daniel Youth" vintage campaign poster! (click here for picture)
If you are interested in purchasing copies for your wall, your relatives, or for yourself, contact him at: bill_gates@microsoft.com.
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Daniel Ong thanks you for your support!

This has to be the best hair gel commercial ever...

The best asian hair gel commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayPaQ6lokhA

~75yroldasianman

Don't ask me any questions about this.

I hope that Asians don't really do this...

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/42/81344025_c218f84353_o.jpg

~75yroldasianman

An Asian video - "The Snuggle Song"!

Watch at your own risk. (it wouldn't be rated anything beyond a G or PG, to let you know)

Feel free to stop the video at any time...

This is an song that originated in Asia, of course.

It's called "The Snuggle Song" and was created by the Chinese to brainwash the youth.

Having brainwashed only carrot-loving rabbits, though, the Chinese soon gave up this plan in favor of something called "military."

~75yroldasianman

Yet another extremely lame Asian picture.


Asian Accents - courtesy of Sam A. and Robert O.

I would rate this PG for Crude Content, Racial Comments, or Uncontrollable Laughter.
Here's the link. Proceed at your own risk.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZFZ_YTP-Q

~75yroldasianman

Official "Asian" Picture Of The Day


Saturday, October 4, 2008

***IMPORTANT NOTICE***

E Chow has officially changed his name to Joe Smith for 3 main reasons:

1. Joe Smith sounds more Asian than E Chow.

2. Angry Communists are after him.

3. He felt like it.

***END NOTICE***

No words needed...


Caption: "Now you too can have your very own panda - wheels included!!!!"


This is how they train for races in asia.



Does he expect that the bird will stop just because he's holding out his hand?

Friday, October 3, 2008

This is the new Daniel Ong.


Search up "Daniel Ong" on Google images within the next 30 minutes. I gurantee this picture will show up on the first page. Just do it.

what does "smorking" mean?


More pictures...

A monkey reading a newspaper...
And old people riding a "roller coaster..."

Creepy picture....


A happy asian picture.

^^Kitty Matrix Fight!^^




Look here, it's a shoe!


funny asian signs











These signs obviously are from Asia.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

International problems


Cracking an international market is a goal of most growing corporations. It shouldn't be that hard, yet even the big multi-nationals run into trouble because of language and cultural differences. For example...

The name Coca-Cola in China was first rendered as Ke-kou-ke-la. Unfortunately, the Coke company did not discover until after thousands of signs had been printed that the phrase means "bite the wax tadpole" or "female horse stuffed with wax" depending on the dialect. Coke then researched 40,000 Chinese characters and found a close phonetic equivalent, "ko-kou-ko-le," which can be loosely translated as "happiness in the mouth."

In Taiwan, the translation of the Pepsi slogan "Come alive with the Pepsi Generation" came out as "Pepsi will bring your ancestors back from the dead."

Also in Chinese, the Kentucky Fried Chicken slogan "finger-lickin' good" came out as "eat your fingers off."

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty."


Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.

In a Tokyo Hotel:
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notice.

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Leipzig elevator:
Do not enter lift backwards, and only when lit up.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

enjoy!

-weeds


Just pictures. No words.






Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Just wanted to let you all know...

...that I changed my google account name to Joe Smith, a totally completely extremely asian name. (Just like "Sam Albert")

So if you get an email from "Joe Smith" know that it's E. C.

~75yroldasianman

weird asian foods...and cats in washing machines


For those of you who don't read chinese (i don't either), this a sign of what NOT to put in your laundry machine.

Notice that it says not to put your cat in your laundry machine.
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and a link to some pictures of gross asian foods:

http://www.npic.us/food-pictures/asian-cuisine.html

~75yroldasianman

For C.R.C.

Asian people put way too much stuff on their cars, trucks, and donkeys....
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More pics in next post.
~75yroldasianman

Found some great lip-syncing Asian people.


This is what they look like. --->
...and here's a link to their lip-syncing of:
"I Want It That Way"
by the Backstreet Boys.
~75yroldasianman.

And here's the REAL Legolas....


Again, feel free to comment...if you have any words to say, which I don't.

Here's the Asian Legolas pic without the editing:


Feel free to comment....if you have any words to say, that is.
~75yroldasianman

Asian stereotype pics

That was the Asian nerd stereotype.
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The next picture is some weird Asian stereotype that I don't know the name of.

Maybe the "Jackie Chan: Asian Gangster" stereotype?

~75yroldasianman